Harry, The Human Animagus!
by SadnessAndSorrow
Summary: AU: What happens when SAS is ill, bored, and drugged with coughing medicine? Why, a silly HP fic of course! Involves cottage cheese, dragons with furry ears, Draco as a ferretboyliterally and a paranoid Dumbledore. Enjoy!


Hello everyone! SadnessAndSorrow, who currently has no life, and is also ill with flu or pneumonia, has used the time she's supposed to sleep or study to write another meaningless story! Oh well, maybe it's funny, and maybe it's not, you'll just have to review and tell me! Ok? Oh, and I still need a beta, preferably someone who's skilled in english... :)

'cuddles the barking dog plushie her mum bought her on a trip' ehrm, just ignore that one.

Anyway, read and review, but no unnecessary flamers, ok?

'cause it's not nice to write those.

Oookay, just got a bit dizzy there, rememeber not to mix coffee, coughing medicine, aspirin and herbal tea.

Hey look, a pretty purple bunny with carrot ears! I wanna pet it! NO! A giant pot just ate it! 'sobs' Is it just me, or do you all hear the Sponge Bob Square Pants song? 'shrugs'

Oh well, just read the fic, ok? Ignore my ramblings...

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**Harry, the Human Animagus**

Chapter 1.

Love for cottage cheese and dragons with furry ears

_By: SadnessAndSorrow_

Harry narrowed his eyes and glared at the mirror. The reflection responded likewise, glaring back angrily in a way he'd never expected himself to do  
Harry was Harry was furious.As of now, he was locked up in a hot room, with no contact at all with the other world.No letters, no visitors, nothing! He hadn't even seen the guards that supposedly watched after him. It was still a month left before he started his sixth year at Hogwarts, and on top off all, he'd have begun experiencing some odd changes.

'Just peachy.' He thought sarcastically and glared even more viciously at his reflection. The mirror, usually showing a scrawny black haired and green eyed teenage boy, now showed something completely different. First, his eyes now had switched into a deep, almost golden yellow, with slits for pupils. The only positive with his new eyes was the fact that he didn't seem to have a use for glasses anymore. He snorted.  
'Oh joy, something to rejoice over.  
Back to his vision, his hair seemed to, well, change. It was no longer short and unruly, it wasn't even jet black anymore. Instead, it seemed to have shortened, altering colour to a deep red, crimson almost. Not like the Weasleys, mind you, but rather the same colour as dried blood.  
Harry quickly tried to wipe it off, just to make sure it wasn't dried blood, but fortunately(or unfortunately) it wasn't.He cocked his head to the side and examined the blood red tresses. They actually looked kind off pretty, cooler than his black hair at least.

One thing he was really overjoyed about was the fact that he now stood over 185 cm over the ground.He was tall!  
A tiny, itsy bitsy little weeny smile pulled in one corner of his mouth. He stopped himself before it managed to spread to the rest of his face; deciding that with his new appearance, it just looked, well scary. Because, it seemed like he somehow had gotten sharper teeth. As in fangs. Yep, that's right.

And claws. And a tail. A long, fluffy, red tail. His friends would freak out if they knew. He shook his head in disbelief. Or squeal and pet him. He didn't know what was worse.

'I am so going to kill that moron who placed a hex on me before. And what kind of hex is it anyway? What hex doesn't show until after a month?'

He got an idea. Maybe it was some kind of curse Voldemort had placed on him! That must be it! He was so happy he'd found out the truth, that he was halfway to his desk and just about to write a letter to Dumbledore, asking how to reverse it, before he remembered he was angry with Dumbledore and that Hedwig wasn't even there.

'Blast!' He thought angrily. 'Now what?'

He walked up to the window and stared out. The full moons' light spilled in through the window and illuminated the otherwise dark room. Since he found out that the Dursleys had gotten really really scared of him, he had decided that he liked the night much more than the day. And it was cooler. So he changed his rhythm, slept on the day and was awake in the night.

The outside was boring. He opened the window, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would happen something interesting if it was opened.

He waited.

And waited some more.

Nope.

He sighed deeply and was just about to close the window when something flew past him in a blur and crashed onto his bed. With a startled sound, (sounding very much like "eep", but since that's an unmanly sound we're just going to ignore it in favour of the story.) Harry jumped back and glared at the lump of feathers that currently created a mess on his neatly made bed.  
He growled and grabbed the offending piece of dirt by the scruff. The lump showed to be a large dirty owl, who hooted sadly at him. He glared angrily at it."You put filth in my newly made bed!" he had suddenly developed a sense of fashion and decided that he liked his bed when it was tidy. (Translation he had gotten extremely pedant over the summer, and had also developed some strange obsessions, such as a strange craving for mashed lobster with chocolate.)  
The owl hooted apologetically and stretched out its leg hopefully. Harry growled again and snatched the letter from the owls' leg, then threw it out without pardon. The owl let out a wounded hoot before taking off, mumbling in an owlish way.

Harry snarled after it. "And don't come back! Filthy creature…" The last mumbled under his breath. "I never understood why I got an owl in the first place, a bat or a raven would've been much better…" Under constant mumbling and occasional curses he opened the letter, which looked really old and had his name scribbled down messily on the front in purple ink.  
"Purple of all colours, I really despise it! It's so-so-so-tasteless!" (eherm, yeah.)  
Still mumbling angrily, he pulled out a thin letter out and held it in the moonlight. He read it through quickly, and then he read it again, and again. He even read it a fourth and fifth time, just to be sure.  
And even a sixth time.

_Dear Harry._

_I hope you're feeling well. Oh, what a silly way to start a letter. Anyway, you might think it a bit odd that I can write to you, especially since I'm probably dead right now. If I'm not, you won't receive this letter, so I'm just assuming that I'm dead. If not, then-_

_Lils, you're rambling._

_Oh, sorry Jamie._

_Anyway son_,_ this letter is supposed to reach you the moment your changes have started. Yes, I guess you find it odd that you suddenly wake up with a tail of all things, and pointy ears and all._

Harry reached up a hand and quickly touched one ear. Yep, it sure was a bit pointy. He resumed reading.

_We have a perfectly good explanation to that. _

_You see, the thing is that, well I-_

_Your mum is a human Animagus._

_Jamie, if you don't stop interrupting I swear I'm going to-_

_Lils, the letter._

_Oh, right. You see Harry, the thing is that I'm a human animagus. Not a human with the ability to turn into an animal, but an animal with the ability to turn into a human._

Harry gaped. "What!" He exclaimed, feeling overly shocked.

_Yep, you read right. I was adopted by a human couple when I was a cub who just learned changing. They sort of blocked my memories, so until I got to Hogwarts I didn't know who or what I was. _

_Anyways, when I came to Hogwarts, no one knew, not even Dumbledore, so I kept it a secret._

_I only told one person, someone I loved dearly, and that was-_

_Me of course!_

_Jamie!_

_Ok, ok, I'm shutting up._

_As I said, he was the only one who knew, and we agreed on you having most human appearance until you were old enough to decide it for yourself._

Harry suddenly without reason felt compelled to stand up and declare his undying love for cottage cheese and little dragons with furry ears.

_If you just felt compelled to stand up and declare your undying love for cottage cheese and little dragons with furry ears, just ignore it; it's a side effect of the transformation._

_Unfortunately, we never got as far as to tell you that, so I-_

_We!_

_We made it stay on you until the letter would reach you. Since we made old Berny send it, I believe you'll have it when you're around fifteen, sixteen maybe. I don't even know why we kept him, that owl is just…_

_Hey, he's my dads' 'ole owl!_

_Yeah, you can see that. Well son, we hope this won't be too disturbing for you, and we also hope that you practise hard at school and do your homework._

_Yeah, and resuming the old Marauder way and become an animagus!_

_That's actually a good idea, for if you do that, you'll be able to hide the changes. Hide, mind you, and not disappear. They'll stay with you…_

_Remember son, we love you dearly, even your cute little fluffy tail._

Harry frowned and glared at the letter. "It's so not cute!" He exclaimed angrily.

_Yes it's cute. And also remember not to tell anyone about this!_

Harry pouted. "Spoilsport."

_Don't pout darling. _

_Anyway, your daddy's right, human animaguses are feared, so even though you're only a half-breed, you're still a human animagus. Like a usual, only with three forms! _

_Much love_

_Your mother Lily and your father Prongs (No Jamie, write your real name!) Fine, James._

_PS: Oh, and don't tell Dumbledore. He's paranoid and might look you up in a zoo. By the way, did you know that he and Mad-eye are brothers? The resemblance is uncanny. I mean as in really creepy. DS_

The red tail flickered angrily back and forth as the boy pouted.

"Well now, isn't this just brilliant! What should I do now?"


End file.
